a word from Candice Motley
Let’s be real—this time has been crazy for all of us, and most days it feels like we can barely stay sane no less keep ourselves feeling good. That’s why I wanted to break down the five steps I’ve taken since all of this began to stay sane and maintain my confidence.
1. SELF-CARE. It sounds so cliché, but I knew if I didn’t take care of myself, I wasn’t going to be able to accomplish anything else. The two biggest self-care things I did were exercise and journaling. I made sure I moved my body everyday. Of course, I’m not perfect and there were some days I didn’t do anything, but overall throughout the entire shutdown and ever since, I’ve made sure to keep taking care of my mental space and my physical self.
2. SOLUTIONS. I’ve made a point to give myself space to organize my thoughts and try to come up with solutions to any and all challenges that have shown up. Solutions make me feel powerful. I know when something’s not working and I may get frustrated, but I’ve also been on a growth journey over the past few years, so what was working for me a year ago or a few years ago isn’t working now. Not because it never worked, but because I’ve grown out of it. If I have to come up with more solutions for something that just means I’m probably doing pretty damn good because the systems and processes that I have in place don’t necessarily work anymore. Stay focused on the solutions instead of just dwelling on the problems.
3. VULNERABILITY. Throughout the past 6 months, I’ve tried to stay vulnerable and just let everyone know where I’m at. This includes my family, my friends, and my team. I don’t have all the answers right now—none of us do. I’m struggling just like everyone else. I love Brené Brown and her work on the power of vulnerability. I’ve really tried to lean into that over the past few years and especially during this time. I do this by sharing openly and honestly about challenges, mistakes, and the learning process as we all navigate shit we’ve never done before.
4. STOP EXPECTING PERFECTION. I’ve had to really kill the perfectionist in me since this whole thing began. Most of us have never homeschooled while running businesses while continuing to pivot trying to stay relevant while all of the other life things are still happening. Keeping your business afloat and your kids out of trouble and yourself sane is not an easy feat. It’s taken a lot of conversations with myself and a lot of giving myself grace. Grace has been a very powerful word for me over the past couple of months.
5. PEOPLE. I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by the absolute best people… my entire team is a joy to be around, my right hand woman, Sahar, is my ride or die, I couldn’t have made it without my lead stylist, Niko, and my studio manager, Jen, has helped me pick up all the pieces despite being new to her role. I have support from my mom and family, and great friends who check in and support me. And this isn’t just by chance, it’s all because of a boundary that I put in place that I’ve been actively working on, ensuring the people in my space and life bring me peace.
You don’t know how important your people are until you don’t have anything else and you have to lean on those people. If those people don’t have the best intentions for you, they’re not the right people. My Covid experience would have been completely different if I didn’t have these same people around me.
This is a challenging time for everyone, and maintaining a sense of normalcy can feel difficult if not damn near impossible. This has been my survival guide to staying resilient throughout this process and I hope it helps you feel a little more at peace and with a renewed sense of confidence as you navigate this new world.
